Quantum Physics and Spirituality II

This afternoon Annie and I took Silvi to the park for her first solo on the swings. She loved it; her face broke into a huge smile each time the swing reached its apex and she experienced that brief moment of weightlessness.

Silvi was completely unaware of the physics involved during her time on the swings. She didn’t realize that she was proving Newton’s theory that the natural state of an object is to remain at rest unless acted upon by a force. Nor did she understand the reason she didn’t float off into space was due to the pull of the huge ball we call earth beneath her. She also didn’t realize that each time she passed close to the earth that she, too, was pulling this “ball” toward her, however slightly.

She just giggled and smiled her gummy smile.

I, on the other hand, understood at least the basics of the physics involved in the movement of her swing. Which brings me to my question: How did my comprehension of the physics involved in the operation of the swing influence my interpretation of that gummy smile?

We watched two more parts of the physics series at Doug Pagitt’s home last Thursday night; about a dozen of us, most in our late 20’s to mid-30’s crammed into his living room to watch a DVD of a professor walk us through the foundations of Classical Physics. We haven’t begun our study of quantum physics yet, as it is important to grasp the basic principles first.

Doug began the night by summarizing the purpose of the discussion. (I’ll paraphrase to the best of my recollection.) “There have been three major paradigm shifts in thinking and speaking about the cosmos. The first was formulated by Aristotle; his theories about the division of the heavens and the earth was the prevailing view of the universe until Newton provided a largely accurate description of the movement of planets and all objects on the earth. These scientific “laws” ruled until Einstein and his “Theory of Relativity.”

“The way we see our world influences the way we see, and speak about God. As science changes, so does our theological view and language. Because of Aristotle’s influence, the Church spoke of the God “up in the heavens” and humans “down here on the earth.” With Newton, the Church began to speak of the God of order, the God of absolute “laws,” and the clockwork universe."

"Einstein shattered this mechanistic view of the cosmos with his theories of relativity, and people’s perception of their place in the universe shifted once again. The Church however, has been slow to reconcile with these new findings, and continues to use Newtonian concepts to speak of God and the world.”

“The findings and language of quantum physics are poised to address the spiritual questions being asked today.”

That brings me back to my question: How does my understanding of the cosmos influence my relationships with those I love? My wife? My daughter? My God? If I had an Aristotelian view of the world, would I have interpreted my time with my daughter differently? If I had lived under the strict influence of Newton, would Silvi’s gummy smile have struck me more one way than another?

How much is my love for God influenced by my view of how the world works? And can I grow in my love for Him, and others, by studying quantum physics? Time will tell. Unless it’s all just relative.

XX/XY

A problem is something which I meet, which I find completely before me, but which I can therefore lay siege to and reduce.

But a mystery is something in which I am myself involved.
Gabriel Marcel

Quantum Physics and Spirituality

Last night was the first of an eight-week discussion on Quantum Physics and Spirituality, hosted by Doug Pagitt, pastor of Solomon's Porch. We met at his home to watch the first two episodes of a 24-part series on Quantum Physics, then discussed how this revolution in science might help us to better understand God.

Pagitt's premise is that we (the Church) use too many incorrect metaphors to explain the universe and spiritual matters. Most of the Church continues to use Aristotelian or Newtonian language when speaking of God. These ways of talking about God convey the idea of a mechanical universe, one that can be figured out, a world that is static, controllable. Pagitt purports that the language of Quantum Physics is a better method of communicating the relationship between the world and the heavens.

I'll post more on this later.

Movie star

Another very busy week of shooting. A company has hired us to recreate scenes from famous movies, starring some of the executives. Today we shot the President of this company with money to burn dressed as the Gladiator against a blue screen. I can't get the sight of his white, knobby knees out of my head. Tomorrow is the CEO as The Godfather; thursday is John Wayne and then "Doc Brown" from Back to the Future. We've rented a Delorean for that shoot. Austin Powers and The Men in Black round out this extraveganza.

I've always wanted to shoot movies.

Coldplay

These are the tickets of Silvi's first "official" concert. The concert was much better than I expected; lead singer Chris Martin sang in front of a huge video display, and the light show was flawless. They played all of Annie and my favorites, and Silvi was completely awed by the lights and 20,000 Minnesotans losing their usual Scandanavian reservedness. Silvi was the only baby we saw there, and stole the show. So many people stopped to play with her or yelled as they walked by, "First concert? All right!" We had some small earplugs for her, and they were very needed as it was deafening. She eventually just rested her head on my shoulder and let the sleep take over. Too bad she won't remember any of it. We took pictures, which I'll post later.

Garrison Keillor

Last night we introduced Silvi to the spokesman of all things Minnesota, Garrison Keillor. He was reading from his new book, an anthology of his favorite poems, and read his excellent introduction to the book. I was encouraged to hear him say that it is still quite hard for him to write, that he still has to sweat his way through the process. It seems to come so naturally to him. Catch the audio from last night on MPR radio's live webcasts.

Theology

"Theology is supposed to be the study of the fire and light that burn at the center of the world. Theologians have reduced it to the turning of pages in a catalog of ideas — a kind of butterfly collection for the mind.

As soon as we regard God from without as a mere object of knowledge, or a mere occasion for speculative study, without freshness of heart and the unrest of love, then all is over, and we have in our hands nothing but a phantom and an idol."

Hans urs von Balthasar

"Lovers are the ones who know most about God; the theologian must listen to them. Love must possess the innermost heart of man and must then 'reorganise' him. Man is then able to be a fragrance of Christ in the world."

Hans urs von Balthasar

Back to "normal"

Our family get together is over, and we're just kind of taking it easy. We were so busy last week: concerts in the park almost every night, including an excellent Irish festival, swimming, amusement park, museum, and playing with the kids. Wore me out. Coming back to work was hard, as it always is after so much freedom and fun.

We have a long shoot tomorrow, followed by some boating and jet skiing on saturday at my bosses house. Last year I messed up one of his jet skis; let's see how it goes this year.

I'm spending the evenings working on making my documentary series a reality. I now have a website (www.narrowridge.com), although there's not much to it right now. I hope to begin shooting this two-hour series next summer. It'll take all winter to write them. Then there's raising some money. But one thing at a time.

Pollack, meet Allen

WOODY ALLEN: That's quite a lovely Jackson Pollock, isn't it?

GIRL IN MUSEUM: Yes it is.

WOODY ALLEN: What does it say to you?

GIRL IN MUSEUM: It restates the negativeness of the universe, the hideous lonely emptiness of existence, nothingness, the predicament of man forced to live in a barren, godless eternity, like a tiny flame flickering in an immense void, with nothing but waste, horror, and degradation, forming a useless bleak straightjacket in a black absurd cosmos.

WOODY ALLEN: What are you doing Saturday night?

GIRL IN MUSEUM: Committing suicide.

WOODY ALLEN: What about Friday night?

Our neighborhood

After all the unpacking we've been doing, we took most of last night off and walked down to the water, where a local rock band was doing some decent covers of eighties favorites. Tons of people out, enjoying the night at the Lake Harriet Bandshell, swimming, feeding the ducks or taking advantage of the breeze in their sailboats. We really like our neighborhood; getting kicked out of the last place was definitely a good thing.

The next ex-family car

Our transmission blew on our "new" Passat. Four months. Our third car in 12 months. I loved that car. Sure, it had some quirks. Annie hated it. Maybe it sensed that. But I thought I looked pretty cool driving it, aside from the sweat streaming down my non-air conditioned face. And so we look for the next ex-Tom, Annie and Silvi family car. In the words of Jurassic Park's Ian Malcolm, "I'm always on the lookout for the next ex-Mrs. Malcolm."

Where is...

There's a scene in Raiders of the Lost Ark that captures how it feels trying to find a shaving razor on Monday morning when you've just moved and you're late for work.

Moved in

I'm not sure how many muscles there are in the human body, but I feel every one of them. Thirteen hours, a muggy 90 degree day, moving out of a third-story apartment - I needn't say more. I'm at our new coffee shop around the corner on a beautiful August morning with Annie and Silvi, and we are so happy to be here. The move, though exhausting, went off without any major problems. We had the help of Jon P. (thanks - how are the arms? King size bed anyone?) and a guy I had only met once, Dan G. A friend of the Halls, he came through when my not-so-fit body nearly called it quits for the day. He saved the day, running up and down the three flights of stairs.

So we're home, the cat is exploring every new corner, and we're feel like this is somewhere that we can stay for a long time. At least a year or two.

New apartment

(click map to enlarge)

We filled out an application for a new apartment (here). We find out later this week if we have been accepted. We are moving to a very nice community called Linden Hills, only a few blocks from the water. Although the apartment is a little small and lacks the charm of our old apartment, it's clean, a two-bedroom, and steps from nice shops, cafes, bookstores, and the beach. We haven't started packing yet, and we move on saturday. I want to back a pickup truck up to our third-story window and dump everything into it. Annie is not excited about that idea.

Let chaos reign

We're moving sooner than we expected. We have to find an apartment in the next nine days. I suppose if NASA can launch the space shuttle on schedule, we should be able to find a two bedroom flat quickly. Oh, wait...

We never met

One of the great evils:

"The loneliness of modern man before men whom he associates with but does not meet."

Yesterday one of the staff at my company who has worked here for nearly five years quit. He and my boss got into a heated conversation where the employee lost his cool, packed his stuff and his leather chair and walked out the door, throwing his keys on the table.

I followed him into the parking lot, hoping to dissuade him, but his mind was set.

We all work in separate offices. Most of the time our doors are closed, and it is possible to go all day without talking to another person. I have worked here two years and have not been in everyone's office. We have a staff of nine. I don't know most of my co-worker's last names, nor do they mine.

Five years. I barely knew this 50-year-old man, but I liked him. No one else tried to stop him from leaving. Not the two guys in the offices next to his who had worked beside him for those five years. Not the office manager who had daily contact with him.

They all just let him walk out the door, then resumed their routines.

The tragedy is that most spend their whole lives amongst those they never meet.

Get out

They knocked on our door at nine in the evening with a piece of paper telling us that our building has been sold and we need to find a new home. They are turning our apartment into condominuims, for sale to the highest bidder. And so we are homeless, again. We have some time to look for a new place, but that is not the point. We like our home. Our coffee shop. Our evening walk. Our park. Our worthless video store on the corner. Our chinese take-out restaurant.

The home of our first born.

We'll find a new home but, man, am I tired of moving.

Lightning storm

Last night we witnessed an incredible lightning storm. For nearly an hour, the skies over Minneapolis raged with fire in every direction. Silvi, her eyes open wide, sat on my lap in our darkened apartment and we watched as Thor, god of thunder, sought to set the earth aflame.

Novel and documentary series

One thing about my personality that I wish I could change is the propensity to work in bursts rather than consistently and steadily. I continue to doubt my will to finish my novel. I keep getting sidetracked on other projects I want to work on, like the documentary series I recently outlined called "Along the Narrow Ridge." It is a six part series that examines the philosophy and ethics of Martin Buber, Emmanuel Levinas, Gabriel Marcel and possibly Kierkegaard, although perhaps just briefly. Much has been written about Kierkegaard already, but maybe there is room for my perspective.

Commitment to these projects demands faith. Faith is all too often quenched by debilitating fear.

Quiet summer days

Life is quiet right now. Work has slowed way down. Installing upgrades and learning to use the new programs Motion and Soundtrack Pro. Playing alot with Silvi. Took her over to the park last night until the birds we call mosquitos chased us inside. She is a happy baby, and brings so much light to our home.

This weekend we'll spend time with both families. Maybe go swimming again. Silvi loved the pool when we took her last week. Just a quiet summer week.

Things about me

THINGS I AM WEARING RIGHT NOW
1. Orange button-up plaid shirt
2. Blue jeans
3. Black Skechers

THREE THINGS ON MY DESK
1. Apple G5 Computer with Final Cut 5.0/After Effects/Motion/Soundtrack Pro etc.
2. Glass of water
3. Lots of BetaSP tapes

THREE THINGS I WANT TO DO BEFORE I DIE
1. Live in Paris
2. Read The Brother's Karamazov
3. Write a novel
4. Direct a film
5. Create a philosophical documentary series (ok, that's five things)

THREE GOOD WAYS TO DESCRIBE MY PERSONALITY
1. Good listener (What?)
2. Able to empathize easily (Get over it.)
3. Laid back (Homer Simpson is my hero)

THREE BAD THINGS ABOUT MY PERSONALITY
1. Anti-social (Get away from me.)
2. Too Intense (Tell me about your relationship with your mother.)
3. Not laid back enough (Gotta' change the world.)

THREE PARTS OF MY HERITAGE
1. Norwegian (or Swedish, depending on when the borders were moved)
2. Scottish
3. English (Maybe a little French in there too, according to Mom)

THREE THINGS MOST PEOPLE DON'T KNOW ABOUT ME
1. I was voted most artistic in my senior class
2. I've gone scuba diving at night
3. I've seen Caro Diario more than a dozen times.

THREE THINGS I SAY THE MOST
1. Shite! (without the Irish accent)
2. Yes, Fred. (My boss)
3. Hey Anne, how's the wee one?!

THREE PLACES I WANT TO GO (that I haven't already been to)
1. Buenos Aires
2. Berlin
3. Rome

THREE NAMES THAT I GO BY
1. Uhh, uhh, gaaaa, uhh (Silvi calling me)
2. Babe
3. Tomas, no mas

THREE SCREEN NAMES I HAVE HAD
1. Narrow Ridge
2. Blackstable
3. Encounters on the Ridge

FOUR THINGS I WISH I HAD
1. An editing studio and camera gear at home
2. My own private theology and philosophy library
3. A brand new 2005 black VW Passat
4. More babies like Silvi

FOUR SCENTS I LOVE
1. Annie
2. Pizza
3. Silvi after her bath
4. New Car smell (which I rarley experience)

THREE PEOPLE I KNOW BEST
1. Annie
2. Silvi
3. My family (that should keep everyone happy)

FOUR THINGS I'LL NEVER WEAR
1. Speedos (hold the applause, please)
2. Cowboy boots
3. Bicycle shorts
4. A bow tie

FOUR THINGS I'M THINKING ABOUT RIGHT NOW
1. Come on, five o'clock!!
2. Is my car going to make it home?
3. I should be editing, but I'm blogging.
4. What's on the tube tonight?

FOUR THINGS I DID TODAY
1. Came here to work
2. Ate a turkey sandwich on wheat at Einstein Bros. Bagels
3. Went to Borders bookstore
4. Played with Silvi for a few minutes before heading to hated job

FOUR THINGS I RECENTLY BOUGHT
1. Diapers
2. A couple of books
3. A techno CD for Anne
4. Tickets to see Coldplay (Anne actually paid for them)

FOUR PEOPLE I WOULD LIKE TO SPEND MORE TIME WITH
1. Annie
2. Silvi
3. My family
4. My friends (that about covers everyone, eh?)

FOUR MUSICAL GROUPS YOU DON'T KNOW I LIKE
1. Rage Against the Machine (favorite band)
2. Bee Gees
3. Techno and Electronica
4. Patrick Bruel (French pop singer)

The passion of Nietzche

I received a gift certificate to a bookstore for Father's Day and spent a few hours trying to find a good book on the life of Jesus. There was no shortage of books, from Just give me Jesus by Anne Graham Lotz (Billy Graham's daughter) to This Hebrew Lord by liberal John Shelby Spong. As I wandered past book after book, I got more and more frustrated. Surely there was one book that spoke my language, the language of Miguel de Unamuno and Kazantzakis and Nietzche.

I don't want to read another book about atonement or justification. I don't want to hear about the historical accuracy of the synoptic gospels. I don't want to read more about Jesus the Berkeley feminist or Jesus the champion of the Nicaraguan Sandinistas. I don't want Jesus Freaks, The Jesus I Never Knew, Jesus CEO, or to Experince the Heart of Jesus.

Jesus of the suburbs. The suburbs are killing us.

I have yet to find a book with the same intensity of the gospels. Shusaku Endo's A Life of Jesus comes close.

Depressed and beaten, I reluctantly settled for N.T. Wright's Following Jesus. I respect and admire N.T. Wright and his sermons are alive and full of passion. I also bought a copy of Nietzche's classic, Beyond Good and Evil. A much-needed mirror to keep the suburbs at bay.

Baha'i documentary

I'm editing a documentary about the Baha'i faith today with one of the sons of a Hand of the Cause of God. He (Ramin) flew in from London for this edit session to finish up a two-hour documentary on the history of their disciples. In their faith, Ramin is like one of Matthew, Mark or Luke's sons.

Kontroll

Last night Annie and Silvi went to a wedding shower, so I was left on my own for the first time since Silvi was born. I wandered around a bookstore in Uptown and caught the Hungarian film Kontroll.

The entire film is shot in the subways of Budapest, where the main character rides the trains, ensuring that the passengers have their tickets. It is often a dangerous job and he is yelled at and beaten regularly. We find out that the main character is in fact hiding from life in the dark tunnels, where he has taken to sleeping on the dirty concrete floor. His salvation comes in the form of a young girl dressed in a pink teddy bear suit, who guides him back toward the light of the surface world.

I didn't enjoy the film; it is too dark and depressing. I did appreciate it, though. I read that this first time director had a very limited budget, and he was able to use what he had to craft a powerful story. I hope he continues to make films.

Refuge by Tom

The Seers are gone. The Guardians have vanished. The Shepherds have been devoured by the wolves, and their blood soaks the ground. Those who seek to replace them offer no refuge, no place to rest a weary head. They offer only solutions to problems.

I am not a problem. I am a Mystery. Do not try to give me a Name. Only One knows my true Name.

I wander in search of sanctuary. A refuge. You lay stone upon stone yet cannot build a home.

I wander in seach of home.