Ebay bid

I've got a bid in for this camera on ebay. I'll find out tomorrow night if I'm the proud owner of a new Canon XH-A1 HDV Camera. Other than that, the nights are filled with outlining and writing as I try to get seven of the fourteen educational videos done by next summer, with the following seven to be completed by the summer of 2009. Hardly leaves any time for Wimbledon.

In other news, when our son is born the first week or so in September, he'll have a name:  Ian.

Website open for business

A stripped down version of my www.narrowridge.com website is now up and running.

[UPDATE: Weebly is a pretty new web hosting company, so it seems like they are having a lot of down time. Keep checking back if you get their main page instead of my home page.]

New website

I'm in the process of completely redesigning my narrowridge.com website. I'll be hosting it at Weebly.com, which is a free web hosting site. It has it's limitations, but did I mention that - it's free.

The check cleared at the bank so now all I have to do is, well, everything.

New Business

I'm taking the plunge this week and am starting my own business on the side. It's called Narrow Ridge Productions and will focus on creating philosophical and religious educational videos for schools, libraries and other institutions. I'm taking out a rather big loan to do this and it feels like I'm jumping off the cliff in Taylors Falls at night.

I'm buying the gear this week, looking for a temporary office and am updating my narrowridge.com website. I just sent in my Doing Business As along with the $25 fee. Guess it's official now. I also may be moving this blog away from anything connected with narrowridge to keep the two worlds sepatate.

Colorado

We're heading out to Breckenridge, Colorado until next week for Annie's family reunion. Her brother and sisters are all going with their spouses and kids, as well as many other relatives, so it should be a fun time. We've rented a condo where we'll celebrate Annie's Grandpa's 90th birthday.

See you next week.

Who do I look like?

According to this face recognition software, I look like the following celebrities. (Or do they look like me?)

Silvi

Derrida and "cussing"

The French philosopher Jacques Derrida taught that the meanings of words are never fixed in a way that allows us to effectively determine their meaning. Words point to words point to words point to words, etc. I agree. I disagree. You understand, don't you?

Chuck Swindoll, John Piper and Mark Driscoll know that words have meaning. Swindoll was kicked off the radio, Piper had to issue a written apology and Driscoll, well, you understand, don't you?

I used to embrace much of what Derrida taught. I don't anymore. I think he is a necessary correction to the modernist project, but goes too far. (You understand, don't you?) Words may build on words that build on words but at one point those words build on the Word made flesh.

Understand?

Minnesota surfer

You can follow my exciting mid-life crisis, I mean adventures, over here.

Barbeque

We went over to some friend's house on Saturday night for a barbeque. Annie met Sarah through a children's developement group a year or so ago and they have become good friends. Sarah's from London and has been married to Rob for about five years, and their son, Gabriel, is around Silvi's age. It's fun to watch the two kids interact and grow up together.

On the way to work in the mornings, I've been listening to some mp3's from Covenant Seminary. They've been examining the teachings of Christ in the Synoptic Gospels, and one particular point struck me as I thought about the barbeque. I've only met Rob once before, and, as is often the case, chit-chat does not come easy to me. I think it's because I'm so self-aware, and probably spend much of the conversation wondering what the other person thinks of what I am saying. The curse of the people pleaser. Sometimes I'm not the best of listeners.

But Christ didn't have this protective wall around him. He could put people at ease because he was at ease with himself. He didn't struggle with wanting affirmation or a bad self-image. Christ was the world's best listener.

To become more like him is to lose the masks we wear, giving us opportunities for genuine conversations.

Mid-life skateboard

I hit forty next year, and I haven't been out looking at the latest BMW or hitting on the waitress at Applebees. I have, however, been looking on Craigslist for a used skateboard.

I'm pro-midlife crisis. The mid-life crisis is a kick in the pants, a reassessment of values and habits, a panic button that screeches, "WAKE UP!" I'm excited about this coming decade. I've developed more discipline, and finish more things that I start. I've learned that quantity time is more important to Silvi than quality time, as quality time is an offspring of quantity time. I'm able to let more slide off my back. I don't take it quite as personal when a client says that they hate my selection of music or graphics. It still stings, but I usually don't take it home with me.

And I'm learning that I'm not in charge, but God is, and that this is a good thing.

Three months from now our son will join us. I can't wait to teach him how to skateboard.

Eleventh hour

The sun is just rising and I'm already sitting in front of my computer, editing a video to be shown in front of an auditorium full of sales people tomorrow. I've got my Starbucks latte (sorry Brett) and croissant and a desk full of video tapes. My day begins...

Updating my blog

I've updated my blog to enable the use of blogger's latest features, which adds a lot of functionality and makes posting much easier. I also revived my Nanni Moretti banner. Enjoy!

Have a good Memorial Day Weekend

Here's where we plan to spend our weekend. (Click on the picture for a closer look.)

Surfing Lake Superior

These guys are hardcore. Below zero wind temp and the water is around 33 degrees. A little north of Duluth, Minnesota this past winter.

Head knowledge vs. lived knowledge

"My observation is that knowledge is only useful insofar as it reshapes how we live. I love learning and love knowledge, but honestly, if it doesn’t reshape life then it isn’t worth a pinch of poop."

Andrew Hamilton
Backyard Missionary (on hiatus)

Seeing through the eye

This Life's dim windows of the soul
Distorts the Heavens from Pole to Pole,
And leads you to believe a lie,
When you see with, not through, the eye.

Fishing Opener

So this is the weekend in Minnesota where over a million people head to their favorite lake for the 2007 Fishing Opener. Scores of fish will be caught. And I can't land one simple video!

Can't land it

I'm not much of a fisherman, but I like the analogy of landing the big one. The last few weeks I've been editing a video for a large meeting with all the powers-that-be. But this program refuses to land. I've spent days trying to get the opening just right, and think I finally got it this morning after about a dozen revisions. That means I have 11 more minutes to finish, which doesn't sound like much, but it is. One of the most frustrating projects I've struggled with lately.

The key seems to be just to put something down and keep at it. Kind of like writing. It's the rewriting that makes it good.

Small moves, Ellie

In the film, Contact, there is a scene where Ellie, Jodi Foster's character, is a child and her father is teaching her how to dial in a Ham Radio signal. He tells her, "Small moves, Ellie. Small moves." as she slowly twists the knob. It's advice I need to take to heart as I "search for signals" that might point in one direction or another.

Right now I'm just getting static.

Worst of 'thymes'

Well, I didn't get the position. And so, dentists and irrigation contractors - "Relax!" Your training and marketing needs will continue to remain in capable hands. I'll take a few days to catch my breath and decide what to do next.

Memorial bench

Today marks a year-and-a-half since my sister's daughter, Hannah, died in her sleep. A few friends of hers placed a bench in a park in memorial. Here's a picture of the occasion.

One month

Yesterday marks one month since sending in my demo reel and resume. That's a lot of nights lying awake, dreaming of a possible future. That's a lot of days living with an all-too-real present.

Another weekend of waiting. It's hard to let it go and enjoy what is supposed to be the first true days of summer.

One of three

So I finally got a hold of the person in the position to hire me. He was in New York, filming a documentary. I guess that they have narrowed it down to three, of which I am one. I should know later this week...

It gave me time to finish updating my website.

Patience is not my favorite virtue

Still no word from the one organization who promised to get back to me last week. I'm trying not to read into it. I called a few times but no return calls. I cope with the anxiety a few different ways. I try to control other areas of my life, like my narrowridge.com website. I've been updating it as I wait. I'm trying to work on things that I will continue to do regardless of the outcome of other's decisions.

I also practice apathy. "Who cares if they offer me a position?" Of course, I do, but I won't tell myself that. Or watch a lot of tv, helping the hours pass. I write a little. Clean. Try not to check my email or voicemail too often.

Ultimately, it's not really up to me or those in the position to offer me a job. We make our plans, but... (see my previous post.)