Bloomington, MN

I make videos for many of the corporations in Bloomington, Minnesota. Training videos, promotional videos, interactive and educational videos. I shoot these videos, edit them on a very nice computer in a very dark suite, and then distribute these videos, usually as DVDs, although lately, clients have been asking for streaming media.

There are two Bloomingtons. One Bloomington is beautiful: expensive houses overlooking pristine lakes, a ski area, quiet neighborhoods, a college campus. The other Bloomington, where I work, is the industrial part of Bloomington. Railroad tracks, equipment rental facilities, massive corporate headquarters, the Mall of America, hotels, freeways, tourists from Iowa. John Deere. Caterpillar. Donaldson Company. Toro. Thermo King.

Bloomington suffers from schizophrenia. Beautiful and ugly. Delicate and coarse. Lexus and 18-wheeler, side-by-side.

This is where I spend most of my days. Welcome.

Nanni Moretti quote

Quick update

Thanksgiving: At our place with Mom and Dad. We had Boston Market.
Christmas: At the in-laws. We had steak for breakfast, watched Little Lord Fauntleroy, played games.
New Year's: Watched the ball drop on Univision.
Currently: Reading anything by Peter Kreeft, watching season two of Arrested Development on DVD, taking Silvi to the doctor tonight because she throws up everything she eats. Driving "new" car, the fourth in two years. Spending nights working on narrowridge.com website and researching documentary series.

January daze

It's the great void of winter and all I want to do is crawl into bed and watch repeats of The Office and Scrubs. I finished my Walker Percy book, and, after three of his books, am going to give up trying to read more of him. I literally hurled The Moviegoer across the room out of frustration. "This novel explores the modern disease characterized by alienation and ennui." Just what I need on a cold January evening. Calvin and Hobbes, where art thou?

Work is really slow; I'm archiving old projects - a tedious job. "Foods" or famine, as my boss says in his broken English.

Santa Cruz, Bolivia

Some great pictures by an amateur photographer living in Santa Cruz, Bolivia, the city of my childhood.

Accidental world

A Baha'i friend and I recently met for dinner at an Indian restaurant, with a buffet straight from Vedic heaven. We talked about all the turmoil in the world and how we might, in some small way, mollify some of the pain and conflict around us. Most of the Baha'i faithful work for world peace. My friend supports the United Nations financially and believes that disputes between nations will one day achieve pacifism.

There are many reasons why I do not believe complete unity between nations will ever be possible; I could discuss theories of human nature and emphasize the inherent traits of greed and corruption and revenge and lust. Or I could make my point by addressing the limitations of living in a broken world of famine and drought and the innate drive toward self-preservation when one is threatened with extiction. I could make my case using Scripture, pointing to verses about the poor always being with us and reapers sowing and brothers against brothers.

My Baha'i friend believes that if the people of the nations somehow were able to really know the other, that this level of intimacy and understanding would solve most discord. Knowing is loving.

But I want to talk about accidents.

Suppose my Baha'i friend asked me to pick up his grandchildren from the airport. God forbid, but suppose, caught up in conversation, I missed the red light and his grandchildren were stripped from him. My friend then finds himself at a crossroads. Does he forgive and embrace me and we continue our friendship, or does he seek restitution, or even revenge?

Assume my friend chooses to 1) forgive me. Is it possible to return to the former level of intimacy? Or will the pain of loss prevent my friend from sharing the part of him that is so necessary for the transparency of friendship? Or perhaps my friend 2) cannot forgive me and breaks fellowship? Or maybe he now 3) hates me and seeks my destruction?

I assert that the loss due to accidental misfortune creates an impenetrable wall of sorrow. I further assert that this sorrow can only be consoled from without by He who heals. Therefore, it is only He-who-heals who can unite daughter with mother, son with father, brother with brother, wife with husband.

The greatest contribution I can make toward the reconciliation of the sorrowful is to remain receptive and vulnerable to the touch of He-who-heals.

"Blessed are the peacemakers."

"If you don't have a sword, sell your cloak and buy one."

Quantum Physics and Spirituality III

At the risk of being tiresome, I am going to briefly summarize the physics topics covered each week so that we will remain on the same page. Or you can skip to the conclusions that we reached during the discussion by skimming down to the appropriately named heading - conclusions.

Topics
Last Thursday our DVD series covered the problems surrounding the calculation of the speed of light. (Not the speed it travels, but it’s relative speed.) Physicists at the close of the century struggled to determine what the speed of light could be measured against. Anyone who has taken an introduction to physics course knows that objects can only be said to be in motion relative to another object. The earth is in motion relative to the sun and other planets, a car is motion relative to the earth, a tennis ball is in motion realtive to the tennis court and the player, etc. But what is the motion of light relative to?

Aether(ether), theorized the physicists. Something must exist everywhere, on the earth as well as in the great vastness of space, that is static. Something that light is moving relative to. Otherwise light does not adhere to Newton's laws of motion. Therefore, physicists said, a substance - which they called ether - must exists. An invisible, unmoving substance surrounding all that is.

This theory held until Einstein sent physicists scurrying back to chalkboards around the world. That's next.

Conclusions
About half the group did not show up as Doug was away at a conference and, unfortunate as it may be, there is no discussion without Doug. At least not yet. Those of us who did show up fumbled with some of the ideas, but the discussion quickly came to an end, as George Costanza would say, "... of it's own volition." And so, as we await the return of author, speaker, pastor, blogger, physics discussion leader Doug Pagitt, I will address the comments of a certain Jon P., prognosticator extraordinaire.

Jon questions the scope of our knowledge compared to the knowledge of God. He also questions if more knowledge equals more love. (I hope I am representing his position correctly.) I agree with Jon that our knowledge is nothing more than a whisp of quickly evaporating smoke in comparison to the knowledge of God. God, claiming to be the basis of all knowledge, dissiminates such knowledge at his discretion and pleasure.

Jon and I are in agreement that more knowledge does not equal more love. I may pursue countless PhD's without ever gaining the knowledge, or love, of a child (or a mentally retarded person).

But our physics discussion does not aspire to acquire more knowledge, rather we hope to see hidden things anew by attempting to shift our starting-point.

We all have a starting-point. This starting-point - the intellectual, spiritual and emotional pad from which we launch - influences our praxis, that unreflective, habitual way of behaving. We engage the world, others and God based on this starting-point. Our behaviors spring from it. The very actions we put into practice in the act of loving God are based on it. If our starting point, for example, is justification by faith alone, we engage the world accordingly. If our starting point is tradition and iconoclasm, we act upon the world differently as well.

What is your starting-point?

Literary Journey

I spend my days looking for God in books. One of the first books that I can remember reading that impacted me was Holy Sweat, by Tim Hansel. I came across it recently and couldn't get past the first few pages. Here is a short list, in semi-chronological order, of the books that have led me to how I see God today.

The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe, by C.S. Lewis
Lessons from a Sheepdog, by Philip Keller
The Normal Christian Life, by Watchman Nee
Walk Across America, by Peter Jenkins
The Walk West, by Peter Jenkins
How Should we then Live?, by Francis Schaeffer
Money and Power, by Jacques Ellul
The Jesus I never Knew, by Phillip Yancey
Heaven - Your Real Home, by Joni Eareckson Tada
The Cost of Discipleship, by Dietrich Bonhoeffer
Portofino and Saving Grandma, by Frank Schaeffer
The Mars Hill Review - (postmodernism issue), Mars Hill Review
The Sacred Romance, by Brent Curtis and John Eldredge
Letters to a Young Poet, by Rainer Marie Rilke
Of Human Bondage, by W. Somerset Maugham
Traveling Mercies, by Anne Lamott
Saints and Villians, by Denise Giardina
The Existentialist Posture, by Roger Shinn
Ways of Seeing, by John Berger
I and Thou, by Martin Buber
God in Search of Man, by Abraham Joshua Heschel
Is it Righteous to Be?, by Emmanuel Levinas
The Mystery of Being: Reflection and Mystery, by Gabriel Marcel
Waiting for God, by Simone Weil
Three Outsiders, by Diogenes Allen
Life with Picasso, by Francoise Gilot
A Prayer for Owen Meany, by John Irving
Hey Nostradamus!, by Douglas Coupland
When the Heart Waits, by Sue Monk Kidd
The Source of Life, by Jurgen Moltmann
The Conflict of Interpretations, by Paul Ricoeur
The Fratricides, by Nikos Kazantzakis
Silence, by Shusaku Endo
A Soldier of the Great War, by Mark Helprin
The Art of Listening, by Neil Pembroke
Malccolm Muggeridge: A Biography, by Gregory Wolfe
Jesus: The Man Who Lives and Jesus Rediscovered, by Malcolm Muggeridge
My Name is Asher Lev, by Chaim Potok
Lost in the Cosmos, by Walker Percy
A Tragic Sense of Life, by Miguel de Unamuno
The Resurrection of the Son of God, by N.T. Wright

I am currently spending my evenings reading Atlas Shrugged by Ayn Rand and The Complete Jewish Bible, a very interesting translation by David Stern.

Any suggestions?

Quantum Physics and Spirituality II

This afternoon Annie and I took Silvi to the park for her first solo on the swings. She loved it; her face broke into a huge smile each time the swing reached its apex and she experienced that brief moment of weightlessness.

Silvi was completely unaware of the physics involved during her time on the swings. She didn’t realize that she was proving Newton’s theory that the natural state of an object is to remain at rest unless acted upon by a force. Nor did she understand the reason she didn’t float off into space was due to the pull of the huge ball we call earth beneath her. She also didn’t realize that each time she passed close to the earth that she, too, was pulling this “ball” toward her, however slightly.

She just giggled and smiled her gummy smile.

I, on the other hand, understood at least the basics of the physics involved in the movement of her swing. Which brings me to my question: How did my comprehension of the physics involved in the operation of the swing influence my interpretation of that gummy smile?

We watched two more parts of the physics series at Doug Pagitt’s home last Thursday night; about a dozen of us, most in our late 20’s to mid-30’s crammed into his living room to watch a DVD of a professor walk us through the foundations of Classical Physics. We haven’t begun our study of quantum physics yet, as it is important to grasp the basic principles first.

Doug began the night by summarizing the purpose of the discussion. (I’ll paraphrase to the best of my recollection.) “There have been three major paradigm shifts in thinking and speaking about the cosmos. The first was formulated by Aristotle; his theories about the division of the heavens and the earth was the prevailing view of the universe until Newton provided a largely accurate description of the movement of planets and all objects on the earth. These scientific “laws” ruled until Einstein and his “Theory of Relativity.”

“The way we see our world influences the way we see, and speak about God. As science changes, so does our theological view and language. Because of Aristotle’s influence, the Church spoke of the God “up in the heavens” and humans “down here on the earth.” With Newton, the Church began to speak of the God of order, the God of absolute “laws,” and the clockwork universe."

"Einstein shattered this mechanistic view of the cosmos with his theories of relativity, and people’s perception of their place in the universe shifted once again. The Church however, has been slow to reconcile with these new findings, and continues to use Newtonian concepts to speak of God and the world.”

“The findings and language of quantum physics are poised to address the spiritual questions being asked today.”

That brings me back to my question: How does my understanding of the cosmos influence my relationships with those I love? My wife? My daughter? My God? If I had an Aristotelian view of the world, would I have interpreted my time with my daughter differently? If I had lived under the strict influence of Newton, would Silvi’s gummy smile have struck me more one way than another?

How much is my love for God influenced by my view of how the world works? And can I grow in my love for Him, and others, by studying quantum physics? Time will tell. Unless it’s all just relative.

XX/XY

A problem is something which I meet, which I find completely before me, but which I can therefore lay siege to and reduce.

But a mystery is something in which I am myself involved.
Gabriel Marcel

Quantum Physics and Spirituality

Last night was the first of an eight-week discussion on Quantum Physics and Spirituality, hosted by Doug Pagitt, pastor of Solomon's Porch. We met at his home to watch the first two episodes of a 24-part series on Quantum Physics, then discussed how this revolution in science might help us to better understand God.

Pagitt's premise is that we (the Church) use too many incorrect metaphors to explain the universe and spiritual matters. Most of the Church continues to use Aristotelian or Newtonian language when speaking of God. These ways of talking about God convey the idea of a mechanical universe, one that can be figured out, a world that is static, controllable. Pagitt purports that the language of Quantum Physics is a better method of communicating the relationship between the world and the heavens.

I'll post more on this later.

Movie star

Another very busy week of shooting. A company has hired us to recreate scenes from famous movies, starring some of the executives. Today we shot the President of this company with money to burn dressed as the Gladiator against a blue screen. I can't get the sight of his white, knobby knees out of my head. Tomorrow is the CEO as The Godfather; thursday is John Wayne and then "Doc Brown" from Back to the Future. We've rented a Delorean for that shoot. Austin Powers and The Men in Black round out this extraveganza.

I've always wanted to shoot movies.

Coldplay

These are the tickets of Silvi's first "official" concert. The concert was much better than I expected; lead singer Chris Martin sang in front of a huge video display, and the light show was flawless. They played all of Annie and my favorites, and Silvi was completely awed by the lights and 20,000 Minnesotans losing their usual Scandanavian reservedness. Silvi was the only baby we saw there, and stole the show. So many people stopped to play with her or yelled as they walked by, "First concert? All right!" We had some small earplugs for her, and they were very needed as it was deafening. She eventually just rested her head on my shoulder and let the sleep take over. Too bad she won't remember any of it. We took pictures, which I'll post later.

Garrison Keillor

Last night we introduced Silvi to the spokesman of all things Minnesota, Garrison Keillor. He was reading from his new book, an anthology of his favorite poems, and read his excellent introduction to the book. I was encouraged to hear him say that it is still quite hard for him to write, that he still has to sweat his way through the process. It seems to come so naturally to him. Catch the audio from last night on MPR radio's live webcasts.

Theology

"Theology is supposed to be the study of the fire and light that burn at the center of the world. Theologians have reduced it to the turning of pages in a catalog of ideas — a kind of butterfly collection for the mind.

As soon as we regard God from without as a mere object of knowledge, or a mere occasion for speculative study, without freshness of heart and the unrest of love, then all is over, and we have in our hands nothing but a phantom and an idol."

Hans urs von Balthasar

"Lovers are the ones who know most about God; the theologian must listen to them. Love must possess the innermost heart of man and must then 'reorganise' him. Man is then able to be a fragrance of Christ in the world."

Hans urs von Balthasar

Back to "normal"

Our family get together is over, and we're just kind of taking it easy. We were so busy last week: concerts in the park almost every night, including an excellent Irish festival, swimming, amusement park, museum, and playing with the kids. Wore me out. Coming back to work was hard, as it always is after so much freedom and fun.

We have a long shoot tomorrow, followed by some boating and jet skiing on saturday at my bosses house. Last year I messed up one of his jet skis; let's see how it goes this year.

I'm spending the evenings working on making my documentary series a reality. I now have a website (www.narrowridge.com), although there's not much to it right now. I hope to begin shooting this two-hour series next summer. It'll take all winter to write them. Then there's raising some money. But one thing at a time.

Pollack, meet Allen

WOODY ALLEN: That's quite a lovely Jackson Pollock, isn't it?

GIRL IN MUSEUM: Yes it is.

WOODY ALLEN: What does it say to you?

GIRL IN MUSEUM: It restates the negativeness of the universe, the hideous lonely emptiness of existence, nothingness, the predicament of man forced to live in a barren, godless eternity, like a tiny flame flickering in an immense void, with nothing but waste, horror, and degradation, forming a useless bleak straightjacket in a black absurd cosmos.

WOODY ALLEN: What are you doing Saturday night?

GIRL IN MUSEUM: Committing suicide.

WOODY ALLEN: What about Friday night?

Our neighborhood

After all the unpacking we've been doing, we took most of last night off and walked down to the water, where a local rock band was doing some decent covers of eighties favorites. Tons of people out, enjoying the night at the Lake Harriet Bandshell, swimming, feeding the ducks or taking advantage of the breeze in their sailboats. We really like our neighborhood; getting kicked out of the last place was definitely a good thing.

The next ex-family car

Our transmission blew on our "new" Passat. Four months. Our third car in 12 months. I loved that car. Sure, it had some quirks. Annie hated it. Maybe it sensed that. But I thought I looked pretty cool driving it, aside from the sweat streaming down my non-air conditioned face. And so we look for the next ex-Tom, Annie and Silvi family car. In the words of Jurassic Park's Ian Malcolm, "I'm always on the lookout for the next ex-Mrs. Malcolm."

Where is...

There's a scene in Raiders of the Lost Ark that captures how it feels trying to find a shaving razor on Monday morning when you've just moved and you're late for work.

Moved in

I'm not sure how many muscles there are in the human body, but I feel every one of them. Thirteen hours, a muggy 90 degree day, moving out of a third-story apartment - I needn't say more. I'm at our new coffee shop around the corner on a beautiful August morning with Annie and Silvi, and we are so happy to be here. The move, though exhausting, went off without any major problems. We had the help of Jon P. (thanks - how are the arms? King size bed anyone?) and a guy I had only met once, Dan G. A friend of the Halls, he came through when my not-so-fit body nearly called it quits for the day. He saved the day, running up and down the three flights of stairs.

So we're home, the cat is exploring every new corner, and we're feel like this is somewhere that we can stay for a long time. At least a year or two.

New apartment

(click map to enlarge)

We filled out an application for a new apartment (here). We find out later this week if we have been accepted. We are moving to a very nice community called Linden Hills, only a few blocks from the water. Although the apartment is a little small and lacks the charm of our old apartment, it's clean, a two-bedroom, and steps from nice shops, cafes, bookstores, and the beach. We haven't started packing yet, and we move on saturday. I want to back a pickup truck up to our third-story window and dump everything into it. Annie is not excited about that idea.

Let chaos reign

We're moving sooner than we expected. We have to find an apartment in the next nine days. I suppose if NASA can launch the space shuttle on schedule, we should be able to find a two bedroom flat quickly. Oh, wait...

We never met

One of the great evils:

"The loneliness of modern man before men whom he associates with but does not meet."

Yesterday one of the staff at my company who has worked here for nearly five years quit. He and my boss got into a heated conversation where the employee lost his cool, packed his stuff and his leather chair and walked out the door, throwing his keys on the table.

I followed him into the parking lot, hoping to dissuade him, but his mind was set.

We all work in separate offices. Most of the time our doors are closed, and it is possible to go all day without talking to another person. I have worked here two years and have not been in everyone's office. We have a staff of nine. I don't know most of my co-worker's last names, nor do they mine.

Five years. I barely knew this 50-year-old man, but I liked him. No one else tried to stop him from leaving. Not the two guys in the offices next to his who had worked beside him for those five years. Not the office manager who had daily contact with him.

They all just let him walk out the door, then resumed their routines.

The tragedy is that most spend their whole lives amongst those they never meet.

Get out

They knocked on our door at nine in the evening with a piece of paper telling us that our building has been sold and we need to find a new home. They are turning our apartment into condominuims, for sale to the highest bidder. And so we are homeless, again. We have some time to look for a new place, but that is not the point. We like our home. Our coffee shop. Our evening walk. Our park. Our worthless video store on the corner. Our chinese take-out restaurant.

The home of our first born.

We'll find a new home but, man, am I tired of moving.