Tuesday, July 18, 2006

Chicken Philosophy I

Sometimes a kernel of truth hides in the strangest places. I think that "the chicken crossing the road" jokes may indeed hold the secrets of the universe. Let's explore...

So, why did the chicken cross the road?

DR. PHIL McGRAW: The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with the problem on "THIS" side of the road before it goes after the problem on the "OTHER SIDE" of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his "CURRENT" problems before adding "NEW" problems.

Annie likes Dr. Phil; I can't stand him. She likes his "common - sense" approach to relational and existential problem solving. I think he's nothing more than a pragmatist with a flair for the dramatic and an MBA in marketing.

Ok, I'll give a little. Pragmatism can get you part of the way toward becoming that which we were meant to be. It's just that Dr. Phil is so... American in his approach. And not just American; "George W." American. "Take control of your life." "Set goals." "Accomplish... things." "Buck up." "Change your behavior." His counseling advice is little more than a Nike catch phrase, "Just Do it." I imagine that his solution to the current Middle East crisis would be to tell Hezbollah to forget about establishing an Islamic republic. "Listen up, y'all. Sometimes you make the right decision, sometimes you make the decision right."

I think we'll have to continue investigating why that chicken wants to get to the other side of the road.

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

I know why. To beat the hell out of Dr. Laura Schlesinger.

Tom said...

And why did Dr. Laura cross the road? Because they offered her a seven figure deal and nice pension.

Anonymous said...

The chicken's (let's call him Bob) hen-wife had just been offered up for Sunday dinner, Bob knew all the other hens in the hen house, and they were all married or engaged; so he crossed the road to get to the neighboring farmer's henhouse to find another wife. He was lonely.

Tom said...

DR. PHIL: The chicken was lonely? What's he got to be lonely about? Just get out there and make it happen..

Anonymous said...

Bob, the chicken, is totally in touch with his existential self. So many of his hens have been Sunday dinner that he has learned to accept the inevitable......that loss and loneliness are a part of a chicken's life. So, go on to greener (and more productive?) hen houses....keep searching, always searching (as an existentialist chicken, is the "find" really that important, or is it the inevitable, lonely, constant, anguished search the real motive of Bob's short life?). Keep sailing, Bob!