Worst of 'thymes'

Well, I didn't get the position. And so, dentists and irrigation contractors - "Relax!" Your training and marketing needs will continue to remain in capable hands. I'll take a few days to catch my breath and decide what to do next.

Memorial bench

Today marks a year-and-a-half since my sister's daughter, Hannah, died in her sleep. A few friends of hers placed a bench in a park in memorial. Here's a picture of the occasion.

One month

Yesterday marks one month since sending in my demo reel and resume. That's a lot of nights lying awake, dreaming of a possible future. That's a lot of days living with an all-too-real present.

Another weekend of waiting. It's hard to let it go and enjoy what is supposed to be the first true days of summer.

One of three

So I finally got a hold of the person in the position to hire me. He was in New York, filming a documentary. I guess that they have narrowed it down to three, of which I am one. I should know later this week...

It gave me time to finish updating my website.

Patience is not my favorite virtue

Still no word from the one organization who promised to get back to me last week. I'm trying not to read into it. I called a few times but no return calls. I cope with the anxiety a few different ways. I try to control other areas of my life, like my narrowridge.com website. I've been updating it as I wait. I'm trying to work on things that I will continue to do regardless of the outcome of other's decisions.

I also practice apathy. "Who cares if they offer me a position?" Of course, I do, but I won't tell myself that. Or watch a lot of tv, helping the hours pass. I write a little. Clean. Try not to check my email or voicemail too often.

Ultimately, it's not really up to me or those in the position to offer me a job. We make our plans, but... (see my previous post.)

Whose plans?

"Many are the plans in a man's heart, but it is the Lord's purpose that prevails."

In the fog

Silvi and I on a foggy morning. I thought this picture captures where I'm at today. I may not always be able to clearly see where I'm going, but I am not alone.

Tick, tock

It's been a looong week of waiting. I've been waking up around 5:30 and watching Spanish Univision to pass the time. Also updating the First Friday Films blog and adding a new video on my Videos page that I just finished at work.

Tick...tock...I'm supposed to find out tomorrow if one opportunity will open up. So close and yet...

Iraq

Tonight we are showing My Country, My Country at the First Friday Films gathering. It's getting more difficult to show films at the church as we are gaining more visibility and are eliciting a few strong reactions. This month's selection is upsetting a few people because of the non-Christian perspective on the war in Iraq. One person who has attended the church for 13 years wrote a strong letter asking that only Christian films be shown in "his" church. Last month a few people got upset about the humanitarian slant in the particular film. Another small group of people want us to use more Scripture. The month before that we got a long letter denouncing the "pro-Palestinian" view of the film Gaza Strip.

We've been doing this for over a year and we've gotten one positive email. Oh well. That's how it goes when you try to do anything, I suppose. Lots of naysayers.

But people keep coming.

Signs, signs, everywhere are signs

Nearly a month ago, I filled out a preliminary application with a mission organization that works in Spain. I also linked to the local ministry in Malaga when I blogged about it. The weeks went by and I never heard anything. I emailed them as well, and no response. As I was already predisposed to see signs in every breath of wind, I took it as a "closed door." (I really am tired of that cliche. Any suggestions on a more suitable metaphor?)

It was during this time of "stepping out" (another cliche) that I came upon another opportunity that seemed like a good fit. I won't tell you what it is until it is resolved, as I still have a week more to wait.

Apparently, when I linked to the Malaga Media Center, someone there followed the link and notified the home office here in the States, who have just contacted me asking for another application.

Did I mention that I am looking for signs?

Waiting

And so we wait...

U-Turn

So here's how it goes... You just have to start moving, then things begin to happen. Spain has to take a back seat for now as another opportunity appears on the horizon. I should know this time next week or so what the next chapter looks like. This "in-between-ness" is for the birds. Until then...