There's a funny thing that happens to you when you're anxious. You develop that oft-mentioned "tunnel vision," like when a car slams on it's brakes in front of you. You find that you are only able to focus on one thing at a time.At least that is my experience these days as we anticipate Monday.
Last night it seemed like everyone just kind of fell apart at home. Ian seemed extra fussy, Silvi threw a tantrum that would make John McEnroe proud and I retreated to one of my favorite escapes - stadium rock.
Queen. Coldplay. Chicago. Patrick Bruel. Rage Against the Machine. Midnight Oil. And, because my wife is reading, even Abba. (The first step toward recovery is admission).
Last night it was Robbie Williams Live At Knebworth. The entire concert. As loud as my neighbors would allow.
I love the loss of self that the concert brings. You are one of thousands, united by love of music. It's a transcending experience.
When you're going through that "dark night of the soul," there really is no room for complex philosophy or theology or even deep conversations. I have barely touched the books on Down syndrome that I bought. That's for another day.
Today, it's What About Bob and Robbie Williams and Die Hard XXIVIIIVIXX and books like The Devil Wears Prada. Yes, I read the book. And saw the film. (I'm secure in my masculinity. I've got some married friends who like cheerleading films such as Bring it On; you know who you are.)
God knows that we're wired this way. That's why He gave us the Psalms.* Simple, yet deeply profound. And an easy read when that's all you've got the strength for.
Whatever you think of Mr. Robbie Williams, he gave me an hour-and-a-half of joy last night.
*I love how this Psalm is almost a mirror of what Christ prays in the garden. "Remove this cup." then "Your will be done."
I will update everyone about how Ian's pre-op examination goes this afternoon.
3 comments:
Wow, I would never have thought of choosing music. I just go out and step on bugs, and throw rocks, and pull my hair, and burn supper. Next time I'll try some "They Might Be Giants" or "Weird Al".
For me it's Sponge Bob. He is a huge source of comfort & stress relief! Then there's Ben & Jerry's Creme Brule ice cream. Earlier this week it was Elvis Costello (circa 1977) and the B-52's. How can anyone listen to "Rock Lobster" or "Planet Claire" and not be cheered up? (You may have noticed I'm a child of the 70's. Yacht Rock rules!)
Crank up those speakers or whatever else it takes. I'm sure the neighbors will understand.
Carole: I'll have to remember to put on a little of Weird Al's "I think I'm Fat" next time.
Lori: We're just entering the Sponge Bob phase - for good or bad. I'll let you know.
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