Birthday wishes

Thanks, everyone, for the birthday wishes. I had a good time yesterday with Annie and the kids, driving out into the country, looking for a new corner to explore.

If you're a regular here, you might have noticed that I've been a bit quiet the last few weeks. I just decided one day to step back, take a breath and chill for a change. I'll try to get back into the rhythm of blogging here in a few days.

Indie coffee shops

We usually spend Sunday mornings at a coffee shop; either the Turtle Bread or the French Meadow. If you're tired of Starbucks, I found a cool little website that maps out all the indie coffee shops nearby; it works in almost any US city.

Stairs bookcase

If I had a house and an extra wad of cash, I would totally copy this person's design for a bookshelf.

See more of the pictures here.

Out of the office

It's almost 8pm and I'm at the office, getting ready for tomorrow's shoot. I'll be out until Wednesday. See you then. Oh, and pop over to Annie's blog; she's got a doozy of a tale coming up.

Global filmmaking

For all you armchair travelers out there, a buddy of mine who I used to host a documentary discussion group with before he bailed from Minneapolis to work at National Geographic (bum) is blogging about his whirlwind trip over in Turkey, amongst other places. He's a talented documentary filmmaker; check it out.

Marriage

Someone sent this to me; it was in the Star Tribune yesterday.

A big thanks

Silvi stayed the night with my parents; she does this every other week or so. She loves it, as do they.

My parents just love Ian to death. Unconditionally. From the moment he was was born, they've never treated him differently because of his Down syndrome. They play with him; make him smile that big toothless grin that lights up his entire face.

I know how fortunate I am to have such parents. Their immediate acceptance of my son is exceptional. I know there are other's who aren't so fortunate.

So I just wanted to give my parent's a big thanks for being such awesome grandparents. Your grandkids adore you both. And I, well, I think you're pretty OK too.

Success!

Annie and I finally had a date night all to ourselves without interruption. We dropped Silvi and Ian off over at my parent's place and went to the Indian Palace for some of the best food to be found this side of New Delhi. We gorged on chicken and rice and strawberry and mango juice. It was the perfect post-Valentine's Day date.

Ian did awesome; Grandpa entertained him with Itsy-Bitsy spider until he fell asleep, sprawled out next to Grandpa. Made Annie and I so happy we did the Kathak dance of joy. Well, maybe we just did a little ho-down jig on the inside, but it was a dance nonetheless.

Next week? The movies.

Non-actors

In addition to the five actors I hired from a local talent agency, I also have to use two non-actors for my shoot on Monday and Tuesday. The client insists that they play a prominent role in the production, including pages upon pages of speaking parts. There are dark mysteries at the heart of large corporations that I have yet to fully comprehend.

I've worked with many non-actors in the past; but most of the time they were in their natural working environment and had few, if any, speaking parts. Like the time I sat inside a gutted Cessna plane - the pilot holding onto the back of my safety chute so my 20-pound camera and I wouldn't fall out of the open door - and filmed a group of skydivers jumping into the void. Or the time I filmed a cryogenic prostate surgery with a room full of latte-drinking doctors as they "violated" the poor patient.

Those are perfect examples of when it is proper to use professional "non-actors." But anytime a person has to act, I always insist on hiring actors. It just makes the shoot go so much smoother, and the final product that much better. Like the time I was shooting a kids show in Colorado and had James Earl Jones (yes, I'm name dropping) deliver his lines... twice. (with that voice, just ordering a cheeseburger conjures up scenes from a Shakespearean play.)

I have a feeling that I'm going to eat up a lot of tape next week. And find a few more gray hairs.

"Take 23! Roll cameras. Speed. Action!"

Annie's Porch

My wife's (finally) up and blogging; find out what it's really like to live with me every... single... day over at www.anniesporch.blogspot.com. And just ignore the picture of James Denton.

Dream crusher

I'm pinned by my workload right now, squashed under the weight of a hairy, sweaty giant I call The Deadliner. Spent the morning auditioning about 10 actors for a marketing video I'm directing next Monday and Tuesday. Hard to tell people they're just not right for the part. I'm a dream-crusher.

Editing an hour long video today... been working on it forever. Training piece. All the projects are piling on at once, like a horde of desperate bridesmaids pouncing on a tossed bouquet. Like that? Even under the gun I can still whip out a flowery simile.

Pun intended.

A Joke Too Far

I love dark humor. But my wife's response has got me second guessing my Jerry Lewis comment about Ian. I told her that with a dad like me, Ian is totally going to laugh at my joke someday.

I hope.

Annie burst out laughing when she first read it; I've warped her. Then she said that now she will definitely NEVER give out my blog address to her new group of friends in the DS group. (Or at least not without a warning.)

So was it a Joke Too Far?

Hi all, Annie here... OK, so I laughed really hard at Tom's entry, but it was the kind of laugh that you do whilst covering your face in hopes that no one is watching you laugh!!! ;0)

(Tom here again... I am totally sleeping on the couch tonight.)

Hey ladies!!

Ian failed his second hearing test today. We have to wait three more months to test again to allow his ear canals to widen. We know that he hears us, and especially hears Silvi, but we're not sure how well yet.

Also, he "failed" his vision test. He thought the "2" was a "Z." Ha. But he does appear to have myopia - or near-sightedness - and will most likely need glasses.

We're praying that he will have buck teeth as well; our plan to bring another Jerry Lewis into the world is nearly complete.

Hey, buddy! You just lost a vote!

I have a rule about political bumper stickers and "Jesus fish" emblems.

Don't do it.

I don't care if you're the world's most courteous driver. If you're on the road, you're in my way. A guy in a SUV with a Jesus fish cut me off on my way to getting my 99¢ cheeseburger from Wendys. And no one should come between me and my small vanilla Frosty. Especially not the lady with the peeling 'Gary Hart for President' sticker on the back of her tan Chrysler LeBaron.

I don't know what you're up to these days, Mr. Hart, but that lady cost you a vote.

Poll results

[Updated: At the bottom]
The results are in (if you haven't voted yet, feel free to cast your vote anyway; unless you're going to start belting out "The hills are alive...").

I aligned myself with Napoleon Dynamite. It's nice to be in the company of four other people who also wonder if chickens have large talons and are pretty good with nunchucks. We're a pessimistic bunch, yet are also known to bust a move when the chips are down.

One vote for Britney Spears. If I could give her some advice, I would tell her to stay out of the spotlight, take some time to ground herself, work out a good medical treatment plan and surround herself with people who know and care about her. I hope this voter has these kinds of opportunities available to him or her.

Three votes for Too Depressed to Answer this Poll. I was surprised by this. I thought more people would hit the Shaggy or Bill Murray range. It seems like a lot of people are either "hot" or "cold;" not too many "the water is fine" people in this poll. Like Britney, you are lacking good relationships that might help you start singing "I'm alright, nobody worry 'bout me" with a certain groundhog.

One Stallone. Not too depressed but not happy either. And, like Rambo, willing to go it alone, often by force.

One Shaggy. One person is pretty content with his or her life, as long as there's a sandwich close by and a few Scooby snacks to pass the time.

Two Bill Murray's out there. You are generally happy with your lot in life, but the burrowing groundhog keeps you from prancing about like Julie Andrews.

A solo Belle dancing alone with the Beast. You're happy most days, although at times the castle walls make you feel trapped. And you just know that under the big furry exterior, there lies a prince waiting to carry you away from all those chickens with sharp talons.

A couple of Julia Robert's laugh out there. You find lots to laugh about, and always enjoy a good bubble bath. You like to live large and find pleasure in playing and the "toys" of life, like limousine rides and the occasional diamond necklace.

Five votes for Sally Field's happiness! I was surprised that so many people are this content with their lives. Not skipping through the hills with the Von Trapp family, but lots of smiles and many warm "Places in the Heart." You have many good relationships and know that your friends and family "Really like me... you really like me!"

One Sound of Music. I'd use caution when reading this blog; it may have you hunting for ligers soon enough, which we all know is a cross between a lion and a tiger... bred for its skills in magic. And you may want to cut back on those "crisp apple strudels and schnitzel with noodles;" all those calories tend to creep up on you. Wouldn't want you to tumble a few notches down the poll. Or would I? :)

Thanks for participating, everyone. Seems like you're either "happy and you know it" or, like me, you think your milk tastes like the cow got into an onion patch.

12:30pm [ANOTHER person voted for the Sound of Music. You're just trying to tick me off, aren't you? :)]
3:30pm [Now I know you're messing with me.]

Poll: If you're happy and you know it...

I'm dissatisfied in many areas of my life right now. Blame it on turning 40, on my general predisposition or on all the stuff we've been through as a family lately. I'm wondering how many other people are in the same funk as I am. I made this poll to find out. No one will know who votes, only the totals will be calculated.

How satisfied are you with where you are in life? (Participants remain anonymous)
Julie Andrews in Sound of Music
Sally Fields getting an Oscar
Julia Roberts' laugh in Pretty Woman
Belle in Beauty and the Beast
Bill Murray in Caddyshack
Shaggy from Scooby Doo
Stallone after reading Rambo reviews
Napolean Dynamite
Too depressed to answer this poll
Britney Spears


(View Results)

Create a Poll

Movin' on up

Someone is starting to dig the real grub. Sort of. Soundtrack provided by Silvi-Mix-Alot.

Pot luck

I went to the Down syndrome group pot luck yesterday. Wasn't going to go but felt better about life in general after watching The Last King in Scotland. Not sure why or how they are related.

Not glad I went. Glad I went.

Good to go and watch Silvi have fun with the rest of the kids. Good to do something out of the house with Annie and Ian. They held it in a YMCA gym, with lots for the munchkins to do. About ten families showed. We played hoops, chased the kids, climbed on the indoor jungle gym, ate the typical - and very tasty - mish-mash of servings that no choice of wine would ever quite complement. Cup cakes and cookies to top it off.

Not going to make it a habit, mind you.

"No man is an island," you say? Had I been in Tom Hank's shoes in Castaway, "Wilson" would have been looking for a new home within the first week of washing ashore.

Film recommendations for the weekend

If you're one of the fortunate ones who actually get to watch films in movie theaters, I've got two recommendations. Persepolis is playing in many art house theaters and is an amazing story about a young girl growing up in Iran during the 70's and 80's. It's so well done that you actually forget that you're watching an animated film and truly identify with the characters.

The second film, which still might be showing in some cities, is The Diving Bell and the Butterfly, based on a true story about a man with a debilitating disability. One of the most visceral films I've experienced, it is going up on my Top 10 list of favorite films. Made me love being alive.

If you're stuck at home, try The Namesake, a film about a family from India trying to assimilate to life in the US. From the same director who made Monsoon Wedding, another must-see.

Crossing Tahoe

Will at Blueberry Shoes Films has posted a few minutes of his documentary called Crossing Tahoe: A Swimmer's Dream over on his site. It's definitely worth a look.

Chicago shoot

I made it to Chicago around midnight on Wednesday night. A snow storm forced hundreds of flights to be canceled and I was rerouted through Memphis where I spent about 4 hours reading John Irving's classic, The World According to Garp. His other well-known book A Prayer for Owen Meany is on my top 10 list of favorites.

Our client put me up in another classy hotel, the kind where they give you a warm chocolate chip cookie when you check in (which I regretted eating at midnight). After a great breakfast in the hotel restaurant, we drove to our location so that I could light the "set." Which in this case was an old warehouse right out of the last scene in the original Terminator film. Dark and cold, piles of steel everywhere, steam coming out of various pipes.

It took about an hour to set up, three hours to shoot the marketing video, half hour to tear down and then back to the airport. I got some pretty cool shots of the product against the eerie background with steam pouring out of the ground.

I'm back at my desk, waiting for the computer to compress a dvd I'm authoring - a documentary recorded in four languages that I have to figure out how to fit onto a single dvd.

This weekend it's dropping back down to -15; guess we'll be looking for things to do inside. Annie wants me to go to a pot luck with the Down syndrome group tomorrow.

I feel a cold coming on.

Chicago

I'm heading to Chicago for a shoot... I should be able to respond to some of your comments on Friday. Cheers.

Self-advocate

A lot of people commenting on my blog have raised the issue of allowing people with Down syndrome to advocate for themselves. So I started looking. I just wanted to find some "every day" people who are just living their lives, and I found that in Josh, a 28-year-old man with Down syndrome, who, with the help of his brother and friends, makes videos that are creative, fun and (I think) thought-provoking. Just so you know, in his own words, it's not for the politically correct crowd. (He does a series called The Retarded Policeman, in which he stars.)

(And although I hate doing the *warning* thing, I know I have readers from lots of backgrounds; if you can't stand four-letter words and off-color humor, you should probably skip Josh's videos. But I hope you don't.)

Enjoy. (He has tons more videos on his YouTube page, too, where he says, "...i want to act for my life because i love it so much. my bro and i make great films together...)

Learning to crawl

Last night was a painful reminder that Annie and I are still learning to crawl.

After the meeting, we had our most intense fight since Ian was born. (I asked Annie if I could write about it; I think the pot flying past my head meant yes.)

We drove in separate cars to the school where the Down syndrome group was meeting. I came from work and Annie - borrowing her mom's car - came with the kids from her sister's birthday party. I got there fifteen minutes early and waited to help Annie in with the kids; I sat in the car and watched as about 20 parents filed in, most with their kids. Last night they had a guest speaker - an 18-year-old with Down syndrome was there to tell us about his life in high school.

Annie was running a little late (she had mentioned that she probably would be because of the party) and with each passing minute I was getting more and more agitated. By the time she arrived I was in what she calls my "quiet rage." Talking through a clenched jaw, eyes shooting laser beams. I told her, like a sulking little boy, that I was going home. With a gentle but immovable determination that made me fall in love with her in the first place, she quietly said, "No, you're not. We're here and we're going in there."

Fine. (Jerry McGuire voice again.)

By the time we got in the classroom, the young man was talking about his experiences, showing us his Letterman jacket, pictures of his girlfriend, of his friends, awards he had won. His parents shared about how they had to battle with the school officials to allow their son full inclusion in a variety of activities. It lasted about an hour and there were many kind and open parents there. After a little chit-chat, we left in separate cars again.

When we got home and put the kids to bed, Annie and I had a short but intense "discussion." Neither of us are screamers, but let's just say that there are some sailors who would be proud of our language and that something was thrown. Not AT someone, and not something breakable, but just thrown out of sheer frustration.

OK, that's what happened. After we calmed down, and actually began laughing at ourselves for falling apart so spectacularly, we talked about why it happened.

As I was sitting in the car waiting for Annie, watching all those parents walking into the building with their children with Down syndrome, I was just kind of freaking out. My world is "fine" when it's just me and Annie and Silvi and Ian, but it starts to crumble a little when we let others into that "safe" little world.

Annie said she flipped out because she's been running non-stop (today is a visit from the therapist and a visit to the eye doctor) and that when I flipped out, she lost it. We've been "managing" our lives, but not really thriving. Making it.

In one way, last night had to happen. It's that "boiling point" cliché. I won't speak for her, but I think we were able to let go just a little more last night. So, in a way, it was good to go to the group. Because it definitely reminded us that we are still learning to crawl.

Fine!

(This post should be read with the scene of Tom Cruise flipping out in the men's room in Jerry McGuire as the background).

Fine! I'll go to the Down syndrome group tonight. Fine! But if I like it, I'm not telling ANYONE! And I don't want to hear, "I told you so" from ANYONE either!

Fine! Fine!!