Monday, January 28, 2008

30 till 40

Thirty days from today I turn 40.

Although I'm a bit freaked by the prospect of another decade fading into the vapor of history like a donut at breakfast, I am looking forward to my forties. For me, a person's forties are his or her "adult" phase. (gulp) The decade when we do "adult" things like sit around and discuss the Palestinian crisis in Gaza or move to a house farther from the center of town or become the vice-president at our company (we become the CEO in our fifties.) We stop buying tickets to see Coldplay or the Foo Fighters and find ourselves holding hands with our spouses at a James Taylor concert or Chicago reunion tour.

It seems like there should be some sort of rite of passage.

And I'm talking about something beyond the red sports car and fling with the secretary. A way to say goodbye to the decade of starting a family and settling in and just plain "settling."

I'm going to explore what I would like my rite of passage to look like in the coming days. It might get ugly.

16 comments:

Leah said...

Turning 40 is how this happened
http://i2.photobucket.com/albums/y41/lespring/100_8133.jpg

waldenhouse said...

Can't wait to see what you come up with. I'm not too far behind you. . . but please don't tell me we have to trade in Coldplay for James Taylor just yet! (although one is never too young for "In my mind I'm going to Carolina. . .")

Elizabeth said...

this post made me laugh. how you feel about turning 40 is how i felt about turning 30. officially adult, and enjoying some of the fruits of that. you'd think having 3 kids and buying a house would have done it, but no.

Terri said...

Dang, I'm 46 and I haven't done any of that stuff. Way to make me feel like an immature failure Tom. ;)

I still can't quite wrap my mind around how old I am. It doesn't feel right. I think it's because I was dissociating for so much of my life. The amount of years I've been conscious would make me about 25. That feels more like it.

Elbog said...

Good luck with all that.
I didn't have my son until I was 36, so I've had experiences like going on Cub Scout campouts where I'm 10+ years older than the other dads, etc. . . but it's been an unusual thrill - introducing him to Black Sabbath, and now Guitar Hero with Stevie Ray Vaughan and Clapton. . . and then there's always Bonnie Raitt to make me feel like us old farts can still kick some ass. Besides, those boomers are goofin up the rules, still. . . hang on.

Steve said...

James Taylor and Chicago, Awesome. I saw JT in concert when I was in my 20's and I'm only in my early 30's.

bella said...

Oh dear. what does it say about me that I was going to see not just James Taylor but Peter Paul and Mary and in my twenties!
Looking forward to seeing what forty holds for you.

lintofpocket said...

This is getting interesting.

Brett said...

I just keep telling myself 50 is the new 30.

But my body isn't listening.

Of course the kicker is having AARP sending enrollment ads to your home on a weekly basis.


And take the senior discount when offfered!

Kim Ayres said...

With the exception of this stupid, bloody annoying CFS, I'm quite happy to be in my 40s. I have a far greater understanding of the world and a far greater understanding of myself. I can exude confidence in any situation without being brash or arrogant and noone patronises me. And with the exception of this stupid, bloody annoying CFS I'm slimmer and healthier than I have been since my early 20s. My wife thinks I'm better looking too, but I can't really comment on that.

However, my midlife crisis has been on the go now for the best part of 25 years...

Gardener Greg said...

I did the running thing and got into local road races. I met a lot of nice people doing that so it was a positive thing. It also got me in great shape but I lost that at 50, lol Good luck.

fallingdown said...

I was so busy awaiting the arrival of L that my 40th pretty much passed me by, but I must say that I have been much happier since my middle thirties. I had a pretty shitty youth in places. I still don't feel very grown-up mind you! And I love James Taylor.

Tom said...

Leah: I love the bike... that's how to do it in style!

Waldenhouse: I'm actually a big James Taylor fan... but don't want to trade in Coldplay just yet.

Elsie: I think I've always been in the midst of a midlife crisis... hope to grow out of it one day.

Terri: You're not a VP yet?! Get with it! :) I may look 40, but I can still throw tantrums like my daughter.

elbog: Black who? Stevie Ray who? Bonnie who? :)

The good thing about waiting to have kids until later is that pretty soon silvi will be old enough to change my diapers.

Steve: My brother and I used to commute to work together and listened to JT until we wore to cassette out.

Isabel: As long as you went to see them because it was retro, you'll be fine. :)

Lint: For who? :)

Brett: My dad and I have the same name so I get all his AARP mail... haven't tried to cash in on it yet.

Kim: I think it's when you hit 40 you start to be OK with your limitations and start to have a more realistic view of the world. That's what I'm told anyway... and what is it with philosophy and depression going hand-in-hand anyway?

GG: I've been tinkering with starting to run, then I wake up. :)

Falling down: I'm with you in the "I love James Taylor" camp... just can't say that out loud yet. :) Here's to the 40's being better than the 30's, and so on...

SunflowerMom said...

James Taylor? Now you are scaring me man! I'm turning 37 soon and feel 40 breathing down my neck. But there ain't no way no how I'm picking JT over Foo Fighters!

:)

Anonymous said...

By the way, I just found your old James Taylor cassette tape in a pile of my old tapes. I was going to return it to you, but I listened to it and....I think I'll keep it!

Love,
Mom

Tom said...

Sunflower: I actually do enjoy both. I think we should worry when I start listening to The Carpenters. Wait, I do enjoy an occasional "Why do birds..."

Mom: I'll lend you my copy of Foo Fighters next.