Wednesday, January 02, 2008

Easing into the new year

I've been easing into this new year, kind of how you ease into a chair when you throw your back out.

I didn't hear one firecracker pop on New Year's Eve; in fact, I think I was in bed before the ball dropped most anywhere, except maybe Australia or Fiji. No champagne, no confetti, no midnight kiss, although I did give Annie a quick peck before pulling the covers over my head.

We took Ian for his RSV shot on New Year's Eve Day Morning (however you say it); turned out he needed four inoculations. He screamed and I winced and Anne teared up and Silvi asked, "Is it funny?" with a worried look on her face. He meets his new cardiologist tomorrow, then takes a hearing test next week. Happy New Year, son.

My mom's been experiencing retinal bleeding, making her virtually blind in one eye. She had emergency laser eye surgery this morning, which went as well as it could. Happy New Year, mom.

We have an appointment scheduled with the bankruptcy lawyer for next Friday. Happy New Year, Annie.

My head is full, my eyes watery, my nose running the Boston Marathon. I'm back at work and I already broke one of my resolutions at lunch today when I got a root beer float with my Wendy's #7 Combo Meal. Not to mention I have to go through all my papers to prepare for the meeting with the lawyer next week. Happy New Year, Tom.

And Silvi? She's happy and dancing and making me laugh when I don't want to laugh.

You know what? It may not be a happy new year, but I am content nonetheless... I like my life. I just wish I could spend more of it under the blankets.


beans said...

Deep breath . . .in and out . . .one day, one minute, one second at a time if need be. Today I had to go hour by hour because anything else was too overwhelming.

I will email you soon. I would love to answer your questions about being a sib of someone who has downs.

Terri said...

Thank God for kids. Sometimes they're the only thing standing between us and jumping. I'm so sorry you're experiencing the pile-up of so many sorrows. And I'm so amazed and blessed that you can find contentment.

Sometimes under the covers is just the long as you pull yourself out of bed when you need to. Blessings, brother.

Tom said...

Beans: "Breath in, breath out, Danielson." (reference to The Karate Kid) :)

Thanks for the encouragement, and look forward to hearing about your experiences.

Terri: Silvi cracks me up all the time... so much joy in that little girl. She yanks to covers off more times than not - "Daddy, let's make a tent out of the blankets!"

Anonymous said...

"I like life. Life likes me. Life is..a perpetual spree!!!" (words and music by Dr. Ebenezar)


Kim Ayres said...

Could be worse - might be raining...

eclexia said...

:) "It may not be a happy new year, but I am content nonetheless... I like my life. I just wish I could spend more of it under the blankets."

My sentiments exactly!!!! My philosophy is the quickest way to happy is through sad (and is often in sad, but that whacks people's brains out, because how can I wallow in my sadness AND be happy at the same time?) The thing is that trying to overwrite the sad, heavy realities with happy thoughts, well, that happiness (to me) is fake. If happy can't incorporate and still be happy in the reality of all the sad and heavy things in my life, then I don't want that kind of happiness.

So, in the end, sometimes people aren't comfortable with the degree of my sadness and my openness in being depressed, when I am. But life is hard. And it overwhelms me. And right there in the middle of all of that is where I find joy and happiness and peace and all that. And sure I'd like the latter without the former, but I can't pretend it's that way when it isn't.

Tom said...

Mom: "I hate people..."

Kim: Or could have a paper cut.

eclexia: Welcome to my blog.. thanks for the thoughts and popping by.

My wife still can't figure out why I listen to sad songs or watching a depressing movie to feel happy. :)