Friday, January 04, 2008

Meet your bankruptcy lawyer

Things you need to take to your first meeting with your bankruptcy lawyer:
  • Your family budget. (I've heard of those. Always thought they were made up, like the Easter Bunny and Santa Clause.)
  • Your last year's tax returns, including all W-2 forms.
  • Paycheck stubs for the last two months.
  • List of all your creditor's names, addresses, amounts, etc. (The lawyer is going to think I'm giving him a copy of War and Peace.)
Things you can leave at home:
  • Self-respect
  • Manhood
  • Smile
  • Checkbook (No one's going to want a check from me for a while.)

8 comments:

Gardener Greg said...

When the laywer asks to be paid you shold ask if he will take a check. That is something I would try. I once got stranded in a gas station, out of town and my credit card didn't work. (I was just a little over the limit). So I told the guy I didn't have any cash but I could write him a check. He said no, he would bill me. So when the bill came, I sent him a check. :)

I would say look on the bright side but I have never been in those shoes. How about good luck.

Lori said...

I have to respectfully disagree with at least the first 2 things you list as leaving at home. It takes a real man to take steps to correct his mistakes and for that you deserve respect, both from yourself & others. Believe me, there are plenty of people who do nothing until they are forced to by being sued or drug into court against their will. The fact that you are being pro-active is hugely wonderful! (And I swear that I'm not really a glass-half-full kind of person...so I'm not trying to be Suzy Sunshine here.)

Terri said...

Dang, they made you leave your manhood at home? (Did you ever hear the song "Detachable Penis?"...really deep...and when did I become this flippin' inappropriate???...sometimes I'm afraid I have Tourettes.)

Budgets don't really exist. That's just something that people ask for when they want to feel superior to you. And it really works.

Tom said...

GG: I'll try the check suggestion; if it doesn't work, I'll give him your address as my billing address. :)

Lori: Thanks... but I did need a little nudging... I usually do when it comes to anything that's not related to daydreaming or blogging. :)

Terri: I think I warned you about this blogging thing taking over your sensibilities... I'll be looking for that Risky Business blog post any day now.

When I want to feel superior to others I'll just throw out a term like "epistemological" or "hermeneutical"; of course, all they have to do in return is show me their bank statement. *sob*

Kim Ayres said...

Take along some chocolate truffles and sneak them into your mouth when he's not looking. It'll put you in a better frame of mind...

Tom said...

Kim: That, or a bottle of Jack Daniels.

Kim Ayres said...

Definitely not! If you walk out with alcohol on your breath, the secretary will instantly take a dislike to you (unless she's an alcoholic, and yes I am using gender stereotypes). However, if you thank her for her time with the faint aroma of chocolate, she'll fall in love with you and make sure the lawyer never loses your case notes.

Tom said...

Not even chocolates with liqueur in them? :)