Sounds of sickness

Everyone in our household is sick. We sound like a pack (or is it a "herd") of seals at feeding time on Kodiak Island. All this sickness makes me think of some famous "sick moments" from some of my favorite tv shows:

1. The Simpsons episode where Homer eats an insanely hot pepper and has a hallucination in which he meets a coyote voiced by Johnny Cash. 2. The Seinfeld episode featuring the black and white cookie.Jerry: Uh, I don't feel so good.
Elaine: What's wrong?
Jerry: My stomach, I , I think it was that cookie.
Elaine: The black and white?
Jerry: Yeah.
Elaine: Not getting along?
Jerry: I think I got David Duke and Fahrikan down there.

3. The episode from The Office where Michael burns his foot when he accidentally steps on his George Foreman grill.
Michael (enters office on crutches and foot wrapped in bubble wrap): Morning everyone. Don't freak out, I forbid anybody to freak out. Clearly I have had a very serious accident, but I will recover, God willing. I just want to be treated normally today, normal would actually be good, considering the trauma that I've been through.

(Later...)

Pam: It's just that before you said you didn't want any special treatment.
Michael Scott: I don't want any special treatment Pam. I just want you to treat me like you would a family member who's undergone some sort of serious physical trauma. I don't think that too much to ask.
Pam: Do you want some aspirin? Because you seem a little fussy.
Michael Scott: No, I don't want some aspirin! Yeah I am fussy! Aspirin is not going to do a damn thing... I'm sitting here with a bloody stump of a foot.

4. The Arrested Development episode where a seal bites off Buster's hand while he's swimming in the ocean.
Lucille: I asked God to take anything from Buster to keep him from going to war.
Michael: Mom, God's not going to answer a call from you.
Gob: I trained the seal to eat cats, and then released him in the ocean.
Michael: OK, you've got a better case than mom does.

5. The M.A.S.H. episode where Hawkeye (Captain Pierce) starts to have a nervous breakdown.
Sherman: I think you could use a few weeks of observation.
Hawkeye: What do you mean, observation. The only thing I want to observe in Tokyo is what a good time I'm having.
Sherman: You need tests...
Hawkeye: Oh, come on!
Sherman: But you have been doing some pretty bizarre things.
Hawkeye: Gee, I don't know why!? I'm only 12,000 miles away from home, sewing people back together who aren't even old enough to shave and a bunch of people I don't know keep dropping bombs on the place where I work which has a big red cross painted on the roof. Maybe I should just hire a band and have the whole thing catered...